Repurposed Place Cards For A Cowboy Wedding

This summer, some friends of mine are going to a rancher's wedding.  Location: New Mexico cattle ranch.  Dress code: cowboy!  Doesn't that sound fun?

Here's a mini Guess The Mystery Thing challenge, inspired by the event.  Check out these fun little place card holders:

Who can guess the identity of those interesting white bases?   Now hold your horses!  Whoa, dogies!  Take your time and don't scroll until you have it in your head. 

Got your guess?  Okay, here comes the scroll down.

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Some of you will know the answer on sight.

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Some of you might be offended.  Maybe?  I'm not sure...

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Ready?

Steady?

Okie.

Dokie.

The Mystery Thing is...

Oddly attractive shotgun loading wads.  (That's what she said.)   Don't be offended.  They are so darn cute, with their little space age feet and ready-made slits to hold a place card!

Hope you got a laugh out of this one.  Later, dogies!



  

King's Day Ring

Hello!  Last night I had a good time.  Want to see what I made?  It's a ring...can you guess the story behind it?

Yesterday was January 6th, which is celebrated as King's Day in Los Angeles and many other places.  Friends came over with a giant Rosca De Reyes, a ring cake that commemorates the Three Magi.

We had Mexican hot chocolate and ate mucho cake.  And lucky, lucky me!

So of course I made jewelry.

P.S.  Did anyone recognize the pale flowers?  They are from a rubber sink mat.

Later, creators!

Ornaments Made From Recycled Squeeze Pouch Lids

So...I just had to show you these.  My weirdest upcycled ornaments yet.  Even I admit, they are mildly demented.

I suspect most of you guys easily identified the Mystery Thing...right?  Or do we need a scroll down?

Okay, for those of you who have never seen one before...what do you guess they are, those odd rounded purple jobbies?

Scroll down to see!

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If you have a baby or toddler - or know a baby or toddler - or have been even remotely baby-or-toddler-adjacent within the past five years, you know this item...

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Here it is!

It's the colorful lid of those popular squeezie pouches.  The ones filled with delightful pap for children and adults alike.  I am partial to the blackberry chia stuff, so I have a big collection of purple lids.

The internet is full of excellent ideas for reusing them - many involving toddler games like counting and color sorting.  One of my personal faves: these cool shrinky dink vehicles from Laura at Lalymom:

Anyhoo, I know I went a little over the top with my crazy squeeze pouch lid ornaments...

And I'm fine with that.

Later, creators!

Craft Fail: It Is finally Safe To Share The Legend Of The Halloween Mohel

Gather round, kiddies, for the tale of a craft fail.  Recently I designed some cute earrings, made from the rings on the ends of these orange and black penny whistles:

I also made some darling necklaces using the mouthpiece part of the whistle.

Yep, I hear you say, that Mich L. sure has an eye for upcycling.  Why, her intincts are unerring, and she always knows exactly what she's doing.  Er...

Everyone loves a behind the scenes story, right?  I have to confess: the rings were not the reason I bought the bag of whistles.  Neither were the mouthpieces.  I bought them because I thought I could use the rounded tips.  Maybe create beaded tassels with them...?  Or flowers.  Or something.  I was sooo proud of myself.

Craft fail!

Anything I made from those rather...distinctive...little objects would end up looking like an illustration for The Legend of the Halloween Mohel.

What?  You have not heard of this?  Well!  Now that the dread month of October is over, and we have all (hopefully) made it through unscathed, it's probably safe to share this legend.  It is a tale that does not frighten women.  But if you have men in the house...

The Legend of the Halloween Mohel

Every year since time immemorial, he has come a-calling on All Hallow's Eve.  He comes when you are sleeping...whispering "Tip Or Treat!" in your ear.  Eeeeek!  Before you went to bed, you put out a dish of Halloween candy - the most expensive candy you could afford.  And as you cower, trembling, beneath your covers, you hope to heaven he decides to eat the candy and leave your house...

Without taking his tip.

(source)

The End.

Anyway, back to the craft fail.  There was no way I was using those stupid-looking little things.  So I had to change my plan.

 

Much better.

Thanks for coming by to listen to my tale.  Next storytime, I shall regale you with The Heartwarming Saga of The Thanksgiving High Colonic. 

 

How To Manscape Your Ogre

I made this lovely statement necklace from what I swept up off the bathroom floor, after Shrek had been doing a little manscaping.

Since this blog is G-rated, let's say they are his back hairs.

Yeah, uh-huh.  His back hairs.

Here's my tutorial for harvesting these long-and-curlies.

1.  Find an ogre.
2. Mention that the ladies looove a smooth ogre.
3. Ask if he plans on wearing that new Speedo in public.
4. Hand him a Black & Decker hedgetrimmer and beat a strategic retreat.
5. When the roaring stops and he has left the building, sweep up the remains.


Note: if for some reason you can't find an ogre, it's possible to make the necklace from eco-friendly carton strapping.  However, the experience is simply not the same.

Want to make it?  Read on for the quickie tutorial!

The Mystery Thing Revealed. And it's...it's...

Okay, are you sitting down?  Or holding tightly to the handrail?  Because you'll want to be when I reveal the answer to this week's mystery.

If you're just joining us, we've been playing that exciting giveaway guessing game, "Guess the Mystery Thing."  My readers were tasked with identifying the cute, guitar-shaped objects in these upcycled jewels:

Think you know?  Betcha don't!

My Chemical Love: Weirdest Photography Tip Ever!

Hiya!  Here's an oddball picture to start you off.  Now, what the heck can this post be about?

You guys, this one is dopey, but since I'm too sleepy and grumpy to do a whole tutorial today, thought I would share this happy little tip.

I do lots of construction work.  Grouting, tiling, sheetrocking, plastering, demolition. And sometimes my hands get so rough it makes me nuts.  I can slather on moisturizers all day long, and they do nothing.  How can that be?  Why don't they work?  And when I try to take blog photos, my hands look like this:

Yeesh.  Wrinkly.  Worn.  A little too lived-in.  I picture a lizard.  A spinster one, named Eugenia, with no love life whatsoever.

Recently, after a big tiling project, I was moaning away on this subject, and my husband for some odd reason was actually listening.  After a moment's thought he said, quite casually, "Well, the grout we were working with today is very alkaline.  Your skin probably needs acid to balance it.  Try some lemon juice."

Say what?  Is this is a thing people know?  Or did he just invent it?

So I sliced a citrus...

Rubbed in the juice.  And suddenly my hand looked like this:

Okay, it's still wrinkly and lived-in.  But now I picture a youthful, dewy lizard, named of Gidget, with several handsome Komodo Dragons asking her out.

And people, you would not believe how smooth my skin felt.  It was truly weird.  I'm not sure if the photos really convey the difference, but let's see that again, shall we?  Completely un-retouched.

Before:

After:

Isn't that bee-zarre?  Chemistry to the rescue!  So if you find yourself scaly after certain alkaline craft projects, consider this theory, brought to you by my chemical love.

Hope you like the ring, too!  I thought 'Bird On a Wire' would be a great name for it.

The mystery solved! The winners revealed!

Last time, I posted some Mystery Jewels and invited readers to guess what they're made of.  Here they are again:

Whee, so many hilarious guesses!  I'm totally excited that you entered and got into the spirit of the thing.  The good news - someone guessed right.  (In fact, I believe three people got it.)  Time to reveal the weirdo answer.

Ready?

Really ready?

Okay.

Ta-da!!!!

A massaging gel shoe insert from the dollar store.  Congratulations to the winner: Aunt Peaches!  Whooo!  Lady, you get first choice among the three necklaces or these earrings:

Aren't they funny?  They remind me of curled up caterpillars, or some kind of strange organic crystal.

I promised a second winner for most creative guess.  OMG, this was hard.  Two of you tickled me so much I am awarding you both:  Periwinkle Dzyns, who said I think it's a chair mat for a fairie's office, so her chair wheels don't get all caught up in her pink shag carpet.  And Elly who said it's a space age rubber sieve from the planet Zargon, that you happened to find in...yes, a dollar store!

Finally, congrats to the random winner selected by my mom: Christy-Southern Sassy Girl.

I will email you all shortly for mailing instructions.

Wow, that was fun!  We shall do it again soon!

Now for the real question: is anyone disturbed by the thought of shoe insert jewelry?  If you won but are all "Ew, feet!" and don't want it now you know the truth, let me know and I will substitute something less, um, foot-related.

I bet that won't happen, though.  I love you people!  Some of you are weirder than I am.  Either that, or the world needs jewelry made from a rubber soap holder and a bath mat.  Hmm....

Merely horsing around.

Yesterday the phone rang. It was my friend Jane.

Jane: Michelle! I just bought a dried seahorse, about four inches high! Can you turn it into a necklace?
Me: Wait. What?
Jane: I said, I just bought a dried seahorse, about four inches high! Can you turn it into a necklace?
Me: Wait. What?

Eventually I agreed to try. Anything for Jane, a groovy girl and one of the nicest people in Hollywood. The seahorse was a special commission for a talented triple-threat artist she knows - someone who could, indeed, carry off such a look.

The problem: how to hang this fragile and unwieldy deceased fishie. It seemed a bit macabre to drill a hole through its dessicated little brain. So here's what I did:


If you click on the picture for a closer look, you will see that the seahorse necklace is - hee hee! The seahorse necklace is wearing a seahorse necklace.

Was that a wince I heard?

If, for some strange reason, you are about to click away from this post as fast as you can click, no, don't go! I made another version for myself. A teeny bit less certifiable.


And here's another one, in elephant.



Okay, I was only playing around; these are just for fun. But they did make me think.

Why am I drawn to certain jewelry components over and over? I have quite a few beads shaped like elephants. Multiple turtles. Many frogs. And a ridiculous number of flowers, pigs and monkeys. Do you guys find that happens to you?

There is a bit of guilt involved. Why, I ask myself sternly, do I feel compelled to buy a new filigree butterfly, when I already have a whole bunch of filigree butterflies at home? Do I really need yet another dragonfly bead? Or more tiny gold and silver leaves?

So today I was inspired to rummage through my stash and try layering like upon like. Here are a few things I came up with.




What do you tend to collect? Things shaped like cats? Stars? Birds? Would any of them like to live together on the same piece of jewelry?

That's it, just an idea to tinker with. And my new excuse, next time I see a really cute dragonfly bead.


P.S. Oh, the seahorse necklace? I know what you're thinking, but no, it's not for Lady Gaga. Nor is it for David Hasselhoff. But I kinda think both could carry it off.